my conversation on the way to and from New Mexico
Sunday
My Conversation with Myself
I had a voice recorder on my trip to new mexico and that is how I want to share this next section of that story. The audio sounds like I'm Neil Armstrong about to land on the moon, sorry, even though it does sound cool...This is basically ramblings about everything, I discuss what I'm learning about God, what I am worried about, what my travel plans are, and how I feel about my surroundings. Some of it truly doesn't make since. Some of it is truly cheesy. This is my struggle with myself....I don't think we share what we are going through enough, we don't talk about what God is doing in our lives and we try to keep it private, I just want to reveal just a small portion of my life story with you. the link below will take you to a page that has the audio on it. listen and look at the pictures below if you want...
Tuesday
Finding Hope
For what it is worth, life is fun…it is a delight and some might say it is a delight of the world that we delight in it. It appears as though creation or something greater out there enjoys sustaining our joy. The rain that falls into our cups, and fills the rivers, the sun shines on our faces, and the wind blows through our fingers as we drive down the highway. Simply the way the air changes slowly as you drive further north causes me to smile, especially on this particular night in August.
Also, I’m not sure, but I am pretty sure, I haven’t figured life out, and what I have figured out isn’t original. Nothing I have come up with concerning to life is new to this world, and for an artist that is frustrating.
I packed up everything I had, which is not saying much and drove away, though still frustrated by the traffic, I felt free. The problem was I had already given up on the place I was leaving several weeks ago and waited anxiously for my chance to drive to the mountains. With desperation and inspiration a smile slowly grew into the muscles in my face as I filled my car up with gas for my journey.
Even though the wind screamed through the sunroof you could tell it was a still night. I saw an elk on the road that night. It caused me to begin to talk to myself; I liked it, and decided to talk more often in the next three days.
I have always enjoyed the glow of the dashboard lights. I can remember looking up at my dad as he drove through the night, and the gentle way it illuminated his face. A new light appeared on my dashboard that told me that my car will run out of gas soon, as I slowed I rolled down all the windows, and felt the dry crisp summer night air. I began to sigh and then truly praised God as though I had been delivered from unspeakable circumstances. They weren’t that bad, but at the time every breath was heavy with freedom, after weeks of a resounding weight of frustration.
I pulled up to the house my parents were living in, it was not the home I grew up in and they were not home. I found the key my dad was talking about under the plant on the front porch, unpacked my car, putting most of my belongings in the garage, and keeping the camping gear in the my Saturn VUE. I drank a Dr. Pepper out of the fridge, brushed my teeth, and got into my brother’s bed, it was two o’clock in the morning and my plan was to start the second leg of the trip by six.
Just starting a journey to a breathtaking place, was vacation enough for me. I found that leaving everything behind and chasing something great, was hope. Packing, Planning, Preparing, it was all great, and i found some great deals on some equipment that changed my life, but the Leaving, that was something. Taking the cliche' "first step" was really finding joy in my heart, or atleast that is what I call the pounding within my heart, as I felt alive. Hope in Adventure.
My journey to New Mexico goes on and on, I can still remember every sense at every moment, every gas station, and every step of the trail I walked those four days. I can remember the stars at night, the chill in the mornings and the people that camped alongside of me. It was the most fantastic time of my life, pictures from those days grace the background of my computer. But in a sense it is a sad story, what makes the pay off of being out there with God so exciting is that I had spent so much time not with god, spent so much time not liking life, wanting to take a vacation, dwelling on that every five minutes as I sat there in the cubicle or in meetings in Houston.
Also, I’m not sure, but I am pretty sure, I haven’t figured life out, and what I have figured out isn’t original. Nothing I have come up with concerning to life is new to this world, and for an artist that is frustrating.
I packed up everything I had, which is not saying much and drove away, though still frustrated by the traffic, I felt free. The problem was I had already given up on the place I was leaving several weeks ago and waited anxiously for my chance to drive to the mountains. With desperation and inspiration a smile slowly grew into the muscles in my face as I filled my car up with gas for my journey.
Even though the wind screamed through the sunroof you could tell it was a still night. I saw an elk on the road that night. It caused me to begin to talk to myself; I liked it, and decided to talk more often in the next three days.
I have always enjoyed the glow of the dashboard lights. I can remember looking up at my dad as he drove through the night, and the gentle way it illuminated his face. A new light appeared on my dashboard that told me that my car will run out of gas soon, as I slowed I rolled down all the windows, and felt the dry crisp summer night air. I began to sigh and then truly praised God as though I had been delivered from unspeakable circumstances. They weren’t that bad, but at the time every breath was heavy with freedom, after weeks of a resounding weight of frustration.
I pulled up to the house my parents were living in, it was not the home I grew up in and they were not home. I found the key my dad was talking about under the plant on the front porch, unpacked my car, putting most of my belongings in the garage, and keeping the camping gear in the my Saturn VUE. I drank a Dr. Pepper out of the fridge, brushed my teeth, and got into my brother’s bed, it was two o’clock in the morning and my plan was to start the second leg of the trip by six.
Just starting a journey to a breathtaking place, was vacation enough for me. I found that leaving everything behind and chasing something great, was hope. Packing, Planning, Preparing, it was all great, and i found some great deals on some equipment that changed my life, but the Leaving, that was something. Taking the cliche' "first step" was really finding joy in my heart, or atleast that is what I call the pounding within my heart, as I felt alive. Hope in Adventure.
My journey to New Mexico goes on and on, I can still remember every sense at every moment, every gas station, and every step of the trail I walked those four days. I can remember the stars at night, the chill in the mornings and the people that camped alongside of me. It was the most fantastic time of my life, pictures from those days grace the background of my computer. But in a sense it is a sad story, what makes the pay off of being out there with God so exciting is that I had spent so much time not with god, spent so much time not liking life, wanting to take a vacation, dwelling on that every five minutes as I sat there in the cubicle or in meetings in Houston.
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